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George Denis Patrick Carlin May 12 , — June 22 , was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me. Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.
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George Carlin

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George Carlin-Driving

Here's an embarrassing driving situation, the kind of thing that can haunt you for several hundred miles. One of those incidents ya can't just shake off. Like the time you almost got killed by the big tractor-trailer, and had to pull off the road for about twenty minutes and listen to your heart slamming up against your rib cage? Well, this next thing is just like that, but this is one ya do all by yourself. Did you ever pull up to a red light, and go a little bit too far into the intersection? Just a few extra feet?
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CARS AND DRIVING: PART ONE - George Carlin

Click here! No link shorteners or HugeURL in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent. This is an anti-spam measure. One of my favorite Carlin quotes, I do this all the time i.
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Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac? Wouldn't it be nice to have an electric board that would rise up out of the trunk of your car and let you type in any message you like? You drive like old people fuck. Slow and sloppy.
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